As I sit here, writing this post on the computer created by him, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I am touched by his noodley appendage, I am overwhelmed, as he has chosen me to be a part of his master recipe for the creation, management, and destruction of the universe.
Long live the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and his religion Pastafarianism
As of this day on March the 30th of 2007, I include the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the list of my already inherited 30million gods and goddesses as the primary and supreme god of all creation. I believe that he created the world, he created me, he created you, the sun, the flowers and the prawns.
He furthermore placed evidence in such a way that we would mistake it for rigorously proven scientific truth.
RAmen
Girish
Friday, March 30, 2007
Sunday, March 25, 2007
The art of blowing hot air
Every time something happens, we have a horde of people expressing their Hodgepodge opinions. Here are some and my answers to them,
Popular opinion no. 1: Indian cricketers suck because they spend too much time advertising and not enough practicing: This is the most baseless of accusations! How does the opinianator know that the Indian crickets actually invest the time they should be practicing in advertisement. His judgement is basically only based on what he sees on TV. Just because one ad is repeated a 1000 times a day does not mean that more time went into making of the ad. The player could have only spent half a day in making of the ad, and everyone knows that you cannot practice the sport 24-7!
Popular opinion no.2: Fire Sachin because he does not perform: Look at the statistics, refer to: Sachin
Popular opinion no.3: Our crickets are hollow shells of men who cannot handle pressure: The fact of the matter is they are put into this unbelievable amount of inhuman pressure levels by our cricket addicted public.
Popular opinion no.4: Sack Dravid,: Why oh Why would you do that? He is the only captain in the last umpteen years who has not ruined his own game since becoming a captain. Wouldn't a more natural and humane suggetion would be to ask Dravid to evaluate his captaincy style and improve. I mean where do we get this idea that playing musical chairs with the people in the team is going to make the team better? THis is the exact thing that pressures our players.
Ahhh, heck, I am sick of this!
Popular opinion no. 1: Indian cricketers suck because they spend too much time advertising and not enough practicing: This is the most baseless of accusations! How does the opinianator know that the Indian crickets actually invest the time they should be practicing in advertisement. His judgement is basically only based on what he sees on TV. Just because one ad is repeated a 1000 times a day does not mean that more time went into making of the ad. The player could have only spent half a day in making of the ad, and everyone knows that you cannot practice the sport 24-7!
Popular opinion no.2: Fire Sachin because he does not perform: Look at the statistics, refer to: Sachin
Popular opinion no.3: Our crickets are hollow shells of men who cannot handle pressure: The fact of the matter is they are put into this unbelievable amount of inhuman pressure levels by our cricket addicted public.
Popular opinion no.4: Sack Dravid,: Why oh Why would you do that? He is the only captain in the last umpteen years who has not ruined his own game since becoming a captain. Wouldn't a more natural and humane suggetion would be to ask Dravid to evaluate his captaincy style and improve. I mean where do we get this idea that playing musical chairs with the people in the team is going to make the team better? THis is the exact thing that pressures our players.
Ahhh, heck, I am sick of this!
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Sachin???
I read somewhere just a couple of days ago: Whenever an organization performs bad, we naturally assume that the leadership, people, and the culture of the organization is rotten. And whenever it shows some signs of improvement we conclude otherwise.
The above is natural, but good decision making means that you gotta have the facts in front of you. The obvious question that Indian cricket fans are asking is whether to retain Sachin? The question arises due to a common conception in the masses that he does not deliver. Well I am going to put the statistics right in front of you, so that even though we cannot really influence the decision, we can all express a well informed opinion:
Here are Sachin's statistics in 2006
Matches: 16. Innings:16, Runs 628, out of which he has been not out twice,
Highest score: 141 not out,
Average:44.85, at a strike rate of 77.05,
Two half centuries and 3 centuries!
That is a very good record! Comparing it with the highest averages in 2006 we see that Sachin is very much at the top considering the number of innings he has played. Now lets look at his career averages: Sachin has played 374 innings scoring a huge 14847 runs at an average of 44.05 and a strike rate of 85.73.
Notice something? His average has not changed in the last year compared to his overall average, indicating that he could not have suffered the great loss in quality and capacity as the media portrays. Sachin remains one of the highest scoring and highest averaging batsmen in the world.
The only reason why he is the target of amazing bashing is due to the addiction of cricket that India has! We simply don't get to see enough of Sachin, so we expect him to perform in every single match that he plays! What we need is to watch him play more on home grounds, like I said before, its time for the corporate giants to look at Ranji to get the big bucks in cricket rolling.
Interesting parallels to the concept of promoting internal sporting competition would be the Australian club cricket, British County cricket, US NFL, NBA, British Soccer League, and Aussie rules Football.
The above is natural, but good decision making means that you gotta have the facts in front of you. The obvious question that Indian cricket fans are asking is whether to retain Sachin? The question arises due to a common conception in the masses that he does not deliver. Well I am going to put the statistics right in front of you, so that even though we cannot really influence the decision, we can all express a well informed opinion:
Here are Sachin's statistics in 2006
Matches: 16. Innings:16, Runs 628, out of which he has been not out twice,
Highest score: 141 not out,
Average:44.85, at a strike rate of 77.05,
Two half centuries and 3 centuries!
That is a very good record! Comparing it with the highest averages in 2006 we see that Sachin is very much at the top considering the number of innings he has played. Now lets look at his career averages: Sachin has played 374 innings scoring a huge 14847 runs at an average of 44.05 and a strike rate of 85.73.
Notice something? His average has not changed in the last year compared to his overall average, indicating that he could not have suffered the great loss in quality and capacity as the media portrays. Sachin remains one of the highest scoring and highest averaging batsmen in the world.
The only reason why he is the target of amazing bashing is due to the addiction of cricket that India has! We simply don't get to see enough of Sachin, so we expect him to perform in every single match that he plays! What we need is to watch him play more on home grounds, like I said before, its time for the corporate giants to look at Ranji to get the big bucks in cricket rolling.
Interesting parallels to the concept of promoting internal sporting competition would be the Australian club cricket, British County cricket, US NFL, NBA, British Soccer League, and Aussie rules Football.
Get rid of that cricket addiction, India!
Yeah yeah, we couldn't.t get into the super 8s, we lost to lowly Bangladesh, and couldn't stand up against Srilanka. The media is going to jump on this, a billion voices in the subcontinent, and many many others all over the world are no doubt just ranting about these same things. Team India lost, with so much riding on their backs, Team India lost!
The media is going to be full of suggestions, drop Sachin, change the coach, get a new captain, leave everyone out of the team and what not. I think every single one of them is going to be absolutely useless. We didn't loose because of the individuals in the team, its no bloody mystery that we have the BEST team on paper! We lost because we just couldn't take it, we wilted under the pressure, gave up against the opposition, we simply QUIT!
Why you ask, a team with a billion supporters, magnanimous funding, huge corporate support, how could they just QUIT when so much depends on them?
What went wrong? I think its exactly the fact that a "billion sounds have no other form of sport entertainment than international cricket" is what went wrong! Look at Australia, people don't burn effigies if the Aussies lose, they don't throw stones at Mcgrath's unbuilt houses. We do, why, because if Team India loses, then we loose hope. Our lives surround Team India, we define our victories and losses on team India. In a country where a LOT of people are still without money, and cannot afford even half the things that are on the market, its obvious that the people will search for a burning light of hope, and they see it in Team India.
The morale is high when Team India wins, the masses can forget about their problems for a day, they can stop talking about the rising prices and that idiot boss at work, they enjoy their musty ride in the Mumbai Local Trains high on victory that day. Simply put we are addicted to cricket. The corporates know that and they feed this addiction, well who can blame them.
This results in tremendous pressure on our cricketers, infact its this pressure that fuels the fear of loss in their hearts, makes them not concentrate on their game anymore, and just give up. After all, they are only humans, well extremely well compensated humans at that. I know what you are going to say, aren't they paid to handle this pressure? Well, yes they are paid to handle this pressure, but the problem I think is not the money, I think our team in not TRAINED to handle the pressure.
If we are to get rid of this quit issue we need to work on both levels,
1. Create an environment in which international cricket is viewed as an glorified form of sport entertainment, and not the only source.
2. Train our men in blue to handle the pressure better.
How could we do this. I am not so naive to tell you that the Indian population should stop watching cricket, that is not possible, I will never stop. But lets give our people some other form of cricket than just international cricket. We have the Ranji trophy where states compete, all the big names are there, we need to make this a big issue. Pin our corporate hopes on the Ranji trophy, pour some money in the marketing, sell the TV contracts to ESPN-STAR, and see what happens. In the meantime, more support to a better infrastructure in cricket (so that people can actually play cricket) and support to other forms of sport is not a bad idea either.
On the second level, introduce some stress relieving techniques in the Indian team, e.g. yoga sounds good, or Aurveda based diet might also work. Some time to meditate and reflect in the should help the high quality individuals in the Indian team forget their own woes and play like a team.
Well, its time for India to move over from International cricket!
The media is going to be full of suggestions, drop Sachin, change the coach, get a new captain, leave everyone out of the team and what not. I think every single one of them is going to be absolutely useless. We didn't loose because of the individuals in the team, its no bloody mystery that we have the BEST team on paper! We lost because we just couldn't take it, we wilted under the pressure, gave up against the opposition, we simply QUIT!
Why you ask, a team with a billion supporters, magnanimous funding, huge corporate support, how could they just QUIT when so much depends on them?
What went wrong? I think its exactly the fact that a "billion sounds have no other form of sport entertainment than international cricket" is what went wrong! Look at Australia, people don't burn effigies if the Aussies lose, they don't throw stones at Mcgrath's unbuilt houses. We do, why, because if Team India loses, then we loose hope. Our lives surround Team India, we define our victories and losses on team India. In a country where a LOT of people are still without money, and cannot afford even half the things that are on the market, its obvious that the people will search for a burning light of hope, and they see it in Team India.
The morale is high when Team India wins, the masses can forget about their problems for a day, they can stop talking about the rising prices and that idiot boss at work, they enjoy their musty ride in the Mumbai Local Trains high on victory that day. Simply put we are addicted to cricket. The corporates know that and they feed this addiction, well who can blame them.
This results in tremendous pressure on our cricketers, infact its this pressure that fuels the fear of loss in their hearts, makes them not concentrate on their game anymore, and just give up. After all, they are only humans, well extremely well compensated humans at that. I know what you are going to say, aren't they paid to handle this pressure? Well, yes they are paid to handle this pressure, but the problem I think is not the money, I think our team in not TRAINED to handle the pressure.
If we are to get rid of this quit issue we need to work on both levels,
1. Create an environment in which international cricket is viewed as an glorified form of sport entertainment, and not the only source.
2. Train our men in blue to handle the pressure better.
How could we do this. I am not so naive to tell you that the Indian population should stop watching cricket, that is not possible, I will never stop. But lets give our people some other form of cricket than just international cricket. We have the Ranji trophy where states compete, all the big names are there, we need to make this a big issue. Pin our corporate hopes on the Ranji trophy, pour some money in the marketing, sell the TV contracts to ESPN-STAR, and see what happens. In the meantime, more support to a better infrastructure in cricket (so that people can actually play cricket) and support to other forms of sport is not a bad idea either.
On the second level, introduce some stress relieving techniques in the Indian team, e.g. yoga sounds good, or Aurveda based diet might also work. Some time to meditate and reflect in the should help the high quality individuals in the Indian team forget their own woes and play like a team.
Well, its time for India to move over from International cricket!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
101 Ways to pressure India, the way of Pseudo pressure
So India is going on ahead and signing the Tehran pipe deal, which India definatley needs. We are in dire need of energy resources, that is no secret. US obviously does not want India to have ties with Tehran, because that means money to Tehran, so this is what the US Energy secretary Bodman says:
""There have been conversations ... and if that is allowed to go forward, in our judgement, this will contribute to development of nuclear weapons,"
basically don't buy fuel from Tehran because we don't like them, you give them money, they will surely go do something bad with it.
Link here
To me this is the most ludicrous statement of all times. What does that mean, should the world severe economic ties with any Muslim country that the US randomly suspects of developing any technology that may threaten US. Is every single penny that Tehran earns going to be spent on developing threats to the US? Are they totally sure that Tehran is really going to be a threat to the US, I mean where were the nukes in Iraq? Are they sure that the Tehran government does not want to use the money to actually make its people happy? It almost seems that the US is convinced that the world is intent on building nukes and blasting the heck out of each other. Well I guess they have a reason, after all they have been there, done that, and have had to live with the terrible guilt! I mean US is the only country in the world to actually have a history of using Nukes, not one but two!
Asking India, an age old friend of Tehran, to hamper its economic ties with Tehran (especially when its helping India out of a Ennergy ditch) is rather gutsy, especially given the history of US pumping money into the middle east for fuel and such.
What is the meaning of this paranoia? Has the American state lost its independence from the Church, or does America really believe that making middle eastern nations economically weak is going to stop the people there from reverting to terrorism? Isn't it possible for big brother to actively participate in the well being and economic prosperity of the middle eastern nations rather than weakening them? After all, they are doing it in Latin America, oh but I forgot, Latin America is mostly Christian!
BTW. Clarification: I am neither Christian, nor Muslim.
""There have been conversations ... and if that is allowed to go forward, in our judgement, this will contribute to development of nuclear weapons,"
basically don't buy fuel from Tehran because we don't like them, you give them money, they will surely go do something bad with it.
Link here
To me this is the most ludicrous statement of all times. What does that mean, should the world severe economic ties with any Muslim country that the US randomly suspects of developing any technology that may threaten US. Is every single penny that Tehran earns going to be spent on developing threats to the US? Are they totally sure that Tehran is really going to be a threat to the US, I mean where were the nukes in Iraq? Are they sure that the Tehran government does not want to use the money to actually make its people happy? It almost seems that the US is convinced that the world is intent on building nukes and blasting the heck out of each other. Well I guess they have a reason, after all they have been there, done that, and have had to live with the terrible guilt! I mean US is the only country in the world to actually have a history of using Nukes, not one but two!
Asking India, an age old friend of Tehran, to hamper its economic ties with Tehran (especially when its helping India out of a Ennergy ditch) is rather gutsy, especially given the history of US pumping money into the middle east for fuel and such.
What is the meaning of this paranoia? Has the American state lost its independence from the Church, or does America really believe that making middle eastern nations economically weak is going to stop the people there from reverting to terrorism? Isn't it possible for big brother to actively participate in the well being and economic prosperity of the middle eastern nations rather than weakening them? After all, they are doing it in Latin America, oh but I forgot, Latin America is mostly Christian!
BTW. Clarification: I am neither Christian, nor Muslim.
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